Tuesday, Jul 15
You haunt me every time I close my eyes. I thought this would be different from the others, but tonight when I try to fall asleep, my mind remembers you so vividly that it projects your face like a silent film and plays your voice—the way it once cradled me on the nights I missed you—like a lullaby I never wanted to forget.
Five days have passed since we last spoke, and regret trails behind every word I said—words born not from truth, but from the pain you’ve caused.
I hate that I wanted to catch your attention by selling the shoes you gave me, hoping you’d ask why, just so I could ask why you hurt me. Why you left me hanging?
You are not the cruel words I spoke to the guy you chose over me—those words were not truth, they were my armor. I needed something to help me hate you. To start resenting you. But I couldn’t.
I love you too deeply. Too honestly.
And because of that, I can’t find it in me—to resent you for what you did to me.
All I ever wished was to receive a “sorry” from you—just once. The way you said sorry to Patrick.
The guy you choose over me.
I'm sorry you went through this pain. I know he's real shitty for what he's done. I, too, was deeply hurt - his boyfriend of two years. I can only hope and pray for your healing.
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